You know that feeling you have when you're just getting ready to fall asleep but your body decides to involuntarily "jerk" and it wakes you up? Well, I just head-butted my window. And it hurt like a motherfucker. (It even hurt worse than when I convulsed and kicked my girlfriend... read more

Whoa. I shivered when I wrote the word "pampered" there in the sub-headline. I hate that word. It makes me think of a diaper or a pedicure, neither of which are very manly. Still, it's the best word I know to describe what happened to me yesterday when I decided... read more

I don't believe in New Years' resolutions. They just seem so pussified, you know? Only lazy guys wait until a predetermined time to take initiative, change habits, or start something new. And the funny thing is, people who make these resolutions rarely stick to them. Hell, it's already January 5th... read more

- I love getting pictures like the one posted above. - I'm never renting a movie from Blockbuster or any other movie store ever again. Netflix is king. - If you're watching a movie that has a sequel or third installment (threequel?), watching them in order is recommended. And it... read more

My Wednesday Morning 7:45- Wake up 30 minutes later than expected 7:46- Dress quickly 7:50- Scrape ice off car 8:05- Meet Rob for breakfast 8:15- Receive call from my publicist who informs me that instead of one national radio interview today, I'll be doing three. And the first two take place in less than... read more

Most guys are physically weak and only "work out" when they're feeling particularly bad about staying up all night drinking and oogling women they'd never have a chance with. Most guys spend more money on beer than they do on quality food. (And it's piss-beer, at that.) Most guys have absolutely no... read more

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